Saturday, 9 May 2009

An untapped market

Boys, boys, boys. Where are you? You’re missing out on an untapped market.

Now I know when you break up with someone the last thing you want to hear is “don’t worry dear, there’s plenty more fish in the sea”. Not only is this the most stupid saying – and whoever invented it should be shot – but it’s only fine and dandy if you know where to fish.

After living in London for two and a-half years, I’m starting to think that there is either: a) a serious man drought; b) some form of insidious pollution killing off eligible bachelors; or c) something seriously wrong with the bait on offer.

Now the thing is I know it’s not just me thinking this. I have several single female friends in the same empty fishing boat.

And I know there are more – because I’ve found a readily available source of them.

That’s right boys; no more complaining you can’t find a good woman. The secret is to go on tour.

I recently returned from a chartered tour of the Lake District, home of William Wordsworth, with about 40 fellow travellers. About 12 were in couples, the rest were girls – the majority single at that. And keen to meet a likeminded intrepid traveller of the male sex.

If there had been a single guy on our tour he would have had a smorgasbord of female morsels to choose from – girls from at least three different nationalities, big, small, blonde, brunette, relaxed, high maintenance. It was all there ripe for the picking.

And everyone knows what happens on “tours” – a heady mixture of confined bus quarters, shared enthusiasm for travelling, party atmosphere and an often never-ending imbibing of alcohol. What better place for some bloke to try out his new pick-up line.

But sadly there were no pick-up lines on this tour and no eye candy.

I can understand why guys shy away from chartered tours – they’re blokes, they do man stuff, drive their own cars, party all night, sleep till noon, seek more adventure, and of course prefer to “sample” the “local” goods.

Yes, I can see why Wordsworth and poetry wouldn’t really do it for the average guy.

So while, from a single-girl point of view, tours are about as useful relationship-potential-wise as going to a gay bar, they are undeniably an untapped market for men; no beer goggles needed.

Forget internet or speed dating – tour surfing, like wedding crashing, is the way to meet a woman.

And what goes on tour stays on tour.

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