Friday, 20 February 2009

The anti-Valentine’s Day

The best Valentine’s Day I ever had was when I was about seven – I got two Valentine’s cards from the same boy, complete with “love from” and little kisses.

One was pink with flowers. The other was a bit more risqué – a half naked Tarzan and Jane entwined in an embrace flying through the jungle on a vine. As a seven-year old, this didn’t mean much – it just looked like a pretty cartoon. But I think my mother was slightly horrified at the somewhat erotic nature of the card (as I found out years later). However, I do believe that at the tender age of seven I didn’t know what the word erotic meant.

Fast forward more than 20 years to 2009. I didn’t get one Valentine’s Day card – let alone two. (Well, ok, technically that’s a lie - my female flatmate took pity on me and gave me chocolates and a card. But that doesn’t count!)

So, with no flowers or secret admirers in sight, it was time to take the “day of love” into my own hands – the anti-Valentine’s Day.

Basically what this consisted of was eating pizza and ogling buff men in short shorts and tight tops – aka England versus Wales Six-Nations rugby – where the better looking team won.

My female friend and I then joined her friend in town (you’re safer if you’re in threes on V-day; there’s no room for misinterpreting the situation). Sticking with the anti-romance theme, we went for the cheapest wine – out of a tap!

I took some time to peruse the pub and spot the singles and was pleasantly surprised to see a lot (clearly everyone else had had the same idea as us). Though there was one gentleman who had a rather unsightly butt crack on show – which either explains why he was probably single or it was his way of attracting female attention (you know, sort of like a peacock). Whatever it was, it was not good.

After our drinks we proceeded to the cinema to see award winning Slumdog Millionaire. Clearly, I hadn’t read the reviews. There I was thinking the movie was about some guy who went on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and wins. No. It turned out to be a romance (sorry if I’ve ruined that for anybody). Thankfully not too soppy.

At first, I was also thankful we were sitting in the front row away from all the back-row shenanigans. But boy was I wrong. As we were leaving there was a couple in the front row, just down from us, playing tonsil hockey.

Ah the joys of Valentine’s Day – the only day when saying “get a room” is redundant.

1 comment:

  1. Even though I am married and weird enough happily, I still agree with you on the V-Day. I find it very corny and silly. You are supposed to love your partner all year round, and tell them every day that you love them… no wonder why the increase in divorcing couples!!! Is not the same as mother’s day hehehe we do deserve a day, even thought we still work a lot on that day.

    In Peru is the day of the year all the hotels, motels, hostels, anything with a bed are booked solid! It makes you wonder what is it really all about, showing your love to your partner or just taking advantage of the situation.

    I completely agree with you my dear friend, the only way I would like it would be if we got the day of work!! ;)